7 Subtle Signs You Might Be Ignoring

Amongst the many things people ask me on discovering I am a therapist, one of the most common ones is to do with determining when to go to therapy.

“How do I know I need Therapy?”

“What can I gain out of therapy?”

“When should a person go to therapy?”

For a really long time now, I have believed that “Therapy is for everyone”, from crisis management to self-exploration. It hasn’t changed but a nuanced understanding has set in –
A. letting people know that healing isn’t just limited to Therapy and means much more, and that
B. There are times when it could be more urgent to address issues coming up and in which case seeking therapy becomes one of the significant steps towards addressing it.  

This write up addresses the latter – signs which indicate that you are experiencing something even if not visible to you right away, beneath the “I am fine” surface before they break that surface forming a manifestation you are unable to ignore.

1. Constant Fatigue
   It is not normal for us to feel constantly tired, and is a definite indication that there might be something which requires our attention. It could be a toxic relationship that isn’t working for you, a loss you recently experienced or even chronic conditions like Fibromyalgia, but the constant fatigue is a sign our body isn’t being able to cope with what it is going through.
   With sufficient nutritious food and rest, our bodies should not be feeling exhausted all the time.
   It is also rather important to regularly get our blood work done to ensure that our bodies are supported along with our mental health, something I check in with clients regularly.
2. Physiological issues undetected by tests
   However, there are times when no matter what tests we get, there are no conclusive reports validating our experiences. I have had several clients approach therapy after rigorous testing only to know their symptoms were rooted in mental health concerns. Many mental health conditions manifest physically and can confuse us as to what is really happening.
   From gut issues to breathing issues – it could be a potential mental health concern.
3. Sleep issues
   A common question I ask clients in therapy is whether they feel fresh after waking up in the morning?
   A good quality sleep is essential for us and a lack thereof, could be indicative of sleep issues due to our habits or if it goes deeper than that – our mental health. The paradox is that a terrible sleep quality can further cause issues with our mental health – including inability to focus, anxiety, or even depressive symptoms.
   I strongly believe that sleep is an important indicator of one’s mental health. If there is something going on, it will in some way or the other manifest in your sleep – maybe through nightmares, fragmented sleep or taking longer than usual to fall asleep.
4. Disconnect with your feelings/ numbness
   We are meant to feel feelings – yes even the unpleasant ones, like disappointment, grief or hurt. If you encounter someone asking you “how are you feeling?” and you genuinely don’t know – there may be a disconnect you are experiencing with your feelings.
   A possible explanation could be regularly suppressing them to a point where there is a numbness.
   Awareness of your feelings and experience can guide you to making decisions and processing them in healthy ways, preventing mental health issues.
   There are several studies linking emotional suppression and depressive symptoms; (Flynn, Hollenstein, & Mackey, 2010); (Beblo, Fernando, & Sabrina Klocke, 2012).

   Feeling numb can also be an indication of your body being in a survival mode and shutting down, which happening chronically can be another significant indicator of mental health concerns.

5. Disconnect with others
   Another disconnect we may experience can be with other people. The human condition to thrive requires us to feel connection socially – and not be in isolation. We are social beings after all, and the lack thereof may even threaten survival.

A common phenomenon, to feel lonely even while being surrounded by people.
Ranging from trauma responses, insecure attachment styles or simply feeling scared to be vulnerable – it can hinder our mental health. Therapy can be very helpful to work through it.

6. Sudden appetite changes

    

Our appetite is closely tied to our mental health. For some people, distress can look like eating much less than usual, while for others it may show up as overeating or constant snacking. You might notice yourself eating more when stressed, or losing interest in food when feeling low.

That’s why I often ask clients if they’ve noticed any changes in their appetite—it can be an early sign that something deeper is going on emotionally. In fact, appetite changes are one of the factors considered in tools like Beck’s Depression Inventory, which clinicians use to understand whether someone may be experiencing depressive symptoms.

If shifts in your eating patterns feel sudden, unexplained, or connected to your mood, it may be a good moment to check in with a therapist.

7. Repeating similar patterns disrupting life

“If you want different results, do not do the same things.”- Albert Einstein

It can be truly hard to break out of a pattern that seems to be maladaptive but the first step is recognizing it as such in the first place. It could be, for example that every time you try to get into an intimate relationship, you start feeling suffocated or wanting to run away from it which can affect your relationships in life and feeling lonely.
As a therapist, I do recognize that patterns show up to bring our attention to parts of our life that may need attention maybe to understand ourselves better or a necessity to an alternate action that needs to be taken.

Therapy doesn’t have to be accessed just when we are going through a crisis, but rather before an emergency brings our life to an absolute halt. When we start noticing these signs earlier, we are able to get the right help we need and develop the required coping tools to deal with a crisis without overwhelm and maybe even prevent it from taking over our life.

Therapy can be accessed whenever you want to learn coping techniques for a specific situation at hand such as a transition in life, grief of losing a person, growing out of the shell of trauma or developing a better understanding of yourself by exploring more about yourself, values.